Death of a loved one

It's been 2 years since you left me but the times spent with you stay fresh on my mind. I miss you more whenever I see those family albums, reminding me of your cute little face and your funny moves. I had always been thankful to God for giving me such a good present as you. Now, it was like my sweet dream had been smashed away. Life is not fair to take you away from me.

I'm still waiting for you to get me out of bed every morning. I'm still searching for you when it's time for meals. I'm still longing for your presence when I come back home from work. I'm still reaching out my hand to touch you whenever I watch TV. At least you come to my dreams where I can hug you, kiss you and talk to you.

You were always there whenever I burnt my night oil to study for my exams. You were always there whenever I was sad or happy to share them with me. You would never leave me even if I yelled at you and put my anger over you.

I realized that you didn't eat as much as you used to and you weren't as playful as before. I didn't know what's wrong with you. So I brought you to your doctor to get a check-up, hoping nothing serious was happening.

To this day, I won't forget the moment your doctor told me that you had cancer and it had already spread to the liver. He told me that your chance of survival even after surgery was very low.

I felt as if the whole world had been spinning around too fast that I would fall had I not been hanging on to a nearby chair. I felt so hopeless and couldn't accept the fact. This must be a mistake, wrong report, or wrong patient. I found all the excuses I could possibly think of at that time. It took me quite a long time to accept the bitter truth.

Not knowing your condition, you looked at me with your innocent eyes whenever I watched you with tearful eyes. I thought that it was best for you not to know so that you wouldn't have to suffer. But somehow, I knew that you felt the seriousness of your condition. I tried not to think about the time you'd be leaving me and did my best to give you all the best during your remaining short journey.

Every time you had to receive an injection at the doctor's office, it was like going to hell. Hearing your soft grunt was a torture to me. You had been losing weight day by day and you looked so weak. Why on earth did this tiny body have to suffer all this pain? I wanted to blame everybody although I knew that it was no one's fault.

Sometimes, I had this ruthless thought that it would be better to take you out of my life in a snap. Then, you and I wouldn't have to suffer this pain for one whole month. That one month had been the worst time of my life.

Death knocked on your door one morning. I remembered it was raining outside. After having your very tiny bite of breakfast, you were lying on my lap. As I was stroking your back, I watched your back moving with each breath you took in and out.

I didn't know how many hours had passed when I noticed that you weren't moving at all. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The time had come. I shook your lifeless body hoping you'd move again but it was in vain. I, somehow, felt lucky that I was with you at your last moment or I would have felt guilty throughout my life.

You're always in my prayers and I know that you're in heaven watching over me. I know that you'll also miss me and think about me like I do. I know that you'll be waiting for me to join you in heaven no matter how long it takes. Now that I can only see you in my dreams, I never stay up late as before. I will always be missing you as an irreplaceable, playful, cute, little companion I've ever had.

This hub goes out to my best friend whose beloved kitten died with cancer of the uterus. I hope that she has got over with her grievance by now.

When it comes to death, sudden or gradual, we all cannot accept it at first. We try to deny it. We try to bargain with something in order to prevent or gain back the loss of someone we love. Sometimes, our anger explode or we become depressed. To accept the bitter truth is not as easy as it seems.

Value the time we spend with someone we love before it's too late. It's important to take care, show love and give time to our beloved ones before death knocks at our doors. Don't regret later for not having done what you should have done. Hurry up and show that you love!